Archive for February, 2007

Today I take a trip to the local wood stove store to get some replacement parts for my wood stove in my living room.  I go to the main counter, and ask for a replacement handle, a thermometer, and a rope gasket for the door.  The girl says that I need to go to the parts counter for the handle, but while I do that she’ll get me my other stuff.  So I saunter over to the parts counter on the other side of the store, and tell the guy I need a replacement handle for my wood stove door, because the wood on the handle is all burned off.  He immediately tells me that they don’t have the part in stock, but he’ll check anyway.

After sifting through boxes for about a minute, he comes over with the exact handle I need, but without the cam that goes with it.  Good enough, cause I can just use the old cam.  So I ask the guy “Should I pay for this here, or pay for it up front.”  The guy responds, “You know what, don’t worry about it, just take it.  Mums the word.”   And he turns around and goes back to whatever it was that he was doing.  So I’m like all smiles, I pocket the part, and go back to the front desk.

When I get to the front desk to get my other stuff, the girl asks “Were you able to find the handle?”

OH NO!!!!  What do I do?
–POOF– devil and angel appear on each shoulder:

Angel:  You must always tell the truth!  It’s the right thing to do, and if you don’t you’ll end up in hell!
Devil:  Just lie, stupid.  If you tell the truth, the nice guys gets in trouble.  Besides, it’s like a 5 dollar part, you’re already buying like 50 bucks worth of stuff, who gives a shit.  Idiot.

DEVIL WINS.  I tell her, “Um, No”.  She looks at me sorta funny?  “Are you sure?”  …  “Um, yeah.  No handle”.  She’s like “That’s really weird, that’s a really common part”.  I say “Yeah, not a big deal.”

She rings up my stuff, and I get the heck out of there.  Which leaves with a whole pile of moral ambiguities:

1)  Did I just shoplift?
2)  Can I ever go back there again?
3)  Did I make the right choice?

I think:
1)  Maybe
2)  NO
3)  There was no right choice, so NO.

Bad:  Your employer gives you a $25 gift card to blockbuster as your christmas bonus.

Worse:  At the store, you discover that the gift card has actually expired.

Worsest:  In your state, it is illegal for companies to expire giftcards.

Worserest:  UNLESS the gift card was issued before august 2003.  And yours was.

This happened to karen last night!  I couldn’t actually believe it.